RSVP?

Maybe a little over a year ago now, a new gay sat in my chair. He had just moved to Boston and from what I gathered, was lacking a circle of local friends. A goodlooking guy in his 40's he seemed kind of lonely so I thought he might both enjoy and benefit from spending a weekend with us at our house on the cape. There he would meet other gays and because Provincetown is so expensive he was mostly likely going to meet somebody his age. My thinking might have been flawed because I assumed he would want to meet somebody his age. For all I know, he might have been wild about twinks. But, I digress. After maybe a half dozen haircuts I felt that we had enough of a rapport that I could ask him to consider making the trip to the cape for the weekend. He seemed eager to join but wasn't very good at following up with a confirmation. Then, on the night before we were to depart for the cape he sent me an email saying that he had chosen not to come after all. Since the social calendar at the cape house is a busy one, we ask our guests to commit to a planned visit. Anybody who has ever hosted knows how disappointing it can be when you have prepared for your guests and then they crap out on you at the last possible moment. It's a waste of money that is spent on having extra food in the house and it's also very difficult to find anybody else to occupy the empty guestroom at so late an hour. The season is so short in New England and people have made their plans. I knew that this client had a weekend house of his own so I was shocked at his lack of consideration. It didn't take me anytime to compose a reply. I simply said "We make our choices" and clicked the send button.

I never heard from that client again. He did explain his reasons for choosing not to come, but I wasn't feeling much compassion for him since he had 8 weeks to have figured it all out. I would expect this sort of conduct from somebody in their 20's as they really would not have been in the position yet to understand the disappointment that comes in the wake of a last minute cancellation when you are a host. But, from somebody in their 40's who also owns a weekend house, was from where I am sitting, unacceptable.

Last night I went to the movies with my boyfriend and another gay couple to see Slumdog Millionaire. It was a pretty good movie, but I thought perhaps a little far fetched. Upon leaving the theatre we came across a group of friends that were waiting to see the next show. Standing there with that circle of friends was my former client. We were reintroduced and I went along with the charade. It was no doubt an uncomfortable moment, but I still had a bee in my bonnet over this past Summer's cancellation. I excused myself so that I could use the bathroom and hoped that when I returned the group would have disbanded. I felt conflicted because I really like and admire the new group of friends that he has found for himself. I'm not the sort of person to spend too much time flirting with resentment so I'm trying to reconcile how I feel about the whole event. The great thing about writing is that I sincerely feel better about the whole thing. I'm pretty certain that I'm over it now. I guess if I were to make any point with my little rant it would be to say that if you are ever graciously invited to anything, you might better RSVP early and seriously reconsider if you're cancelling at the last minute.